Monday, November 8, 2010
In need of a 12 step program.
I am at the point in my cycle where I can't stop peeing on sticks. No matter how hard I try to resist, these sticks have a gravitational pull over my body. Sure, the nurse told me not to take tests at home and to wait for my blood test on Thursday, but I'm certain that she knew I wouldn't listen. The worst part is that I see second lines everywhere. I dream about them, and I can usually convince myself that there is a faint line staring back at me from any little stick (even if it's not a pregnancy test). I cringe at the amount of money we have spent on plastic sticks, but taking these is the one thing I feel I can "do" at this point. So I give myself permission to continue my neurotic testing for the next few days, dreaming about what it would look like to see a dark, certain second line.