seeing lines

I am neurotic.  Due to my complete inability to control anything in this process, I find it impossible not to pee on sticks.  I know I shouldn't, but I truly can't help myself.

I had one test in my drawer, so yesterday morning I checked to make sure the trigger shot was gone.  One line, with the remainder of the window a stark white.  Last night, A and I went to Wal-Mart to stock up on First Response tests (I have found that Wal-Mart is significantly cheaper for these).  I had been having a down day, feeling a little hopeless, and was really having the urge to test.  So before bed, against A's advice, I went for it.  I was sure I was just wasting $4, but at this point money is somewhat irrelevant.  I have taken lots of First Resopnse tests over the last 9 months, and I know when I see something.  And last night I saw something...something very faint, more of "where the line should be" than a line, but something nonetheless.  It was that little bit of hope that I so desparately needed.

I woke up at 3:00 in the morning with a full bladder, but I wanted to wait as long as possible to test again.  I made it to 5:00 a.m., then quietly got up and went for test #2.  And there was a faint line.  You didn't even have to squint or hold the stick at a certain angle to see it.  5 days post 5 day transfer, and hope was staring at me from my bathroom counter.

I know as well as anyone that a positive test doesn't always mean a baby.  I know that it could be a false positive, another chemical pregnancy, or that something could go wrong down the road.  But for today I am pregnant, and I am overjoyed.