Saturday, December 11, 2010

Thank You!

Yesterday was a fabulous day...A graduated with his masters degree!  This is the culmination of many papers, exams, and years of working full time while going to class.  I am so proud, and we were thankful that both of our families were able to come visit and celebrate with us.  After everyone left today, though, I was a little sad.  No one in our families mentioned or wanted to talk about our recent decision to do IVF.  They didn't ask questions or how we were feeling.  In fact, they went to pains not to refer to our current situation.  I know that discussing these topics makes some people feel really uncomfortable, but it's the most important part of our lives right now and I actually like to discuss it with loved ones.  When people act like it's not even going on, I start to feel like they don't care.  I know that I am unhealthily consumed with trying to get pregnant, but don't our parents even care? 

And thus another reason that I love writing and reading blogs.  This community is so's full of women who don't know me in real life but care about the mundane details of our struggles.  I can write about my test results and don't even have to explain what they mean.  You all understand the deep desire to talk about it all, the therapeutic effect of sharing your excitement and anxiety.  So many of the blogs I follow are currently going through an IVF cycle...I get so much comfort reading your words and learning more about what I can expect in January.  I long for a group of people I can be this honest with face-to-face, but I know that I am unlikely to find that.  So thank you, each of you, for being my sounding board and making this all a little more bearable.


  1. I know how you feel. My entire extended family knows about our struggles and I am dreading that we will go the entire Christmas season without them being acknowledged.

  2. Congratulations!!! What an accomplishment! Will your degree help you with our current job or are you looking to make a career change?

    I completely get what you're saying about people avoiding the conversation. Whether it's friends, family, can they NOT ask? (((HUGS)))

  3. Congratulations to A!!!
    I totally get what you are saying about people not talking to you about it. My in laws are the same way and it makes me very uncomfortable.
    this community is amazing. I know the resolve runs support groups, which may be a good place for you to meet people face to face.
    good luck with every thing!!!!!!

  4. Congrats to A!!!!
    Yes, I know how you feel. We aren't going through IVF or anything, but I wish I could talk about TTC more openly.
    When we told our parents about our issues, we asked them to wait for us to bring it up.
    But that wasn't so much bc we didn't want to talk about it, it was so that we didn't get ridiculous advice, or have (unintentionally) hurtful things said.
    I also agree on the ttc blogs, I sometimes "escape" to these blogs because it is usch a relief!!!!
    Sorry about your family.

  5. Well done to your husband for graduating - it can be difficult to stick to the books when you've trying to deal with fertility treatments.

    Maybe your family didn't want to bring up IF because they were worried about saying the wrong thing and spoiling the graduation?

    Families can be tricky. I don't mind being asked how it's going, but sometimes discussing the topic opens you up to a whole load of useless and unsolicited advice which can be even worse than them not mentioning it. On the plus side, my family have come out with some completely off-the-wall things about IVF that have amused us greatly. Like when my mum thought that our frozen embryos were stored in our kitchen!

    If they do the same thing over Christmas you could bring it up with them and say it's ok for them to ask how you're getting on?

  6. Congrats on A's accomplishment! Congrats to A for the obvious reasons, congrats to you for being supportive and patient through that. Especially impressive since A was working full time-no small feat!

    As for families, I haven't breathed one word to ours. I'm 110% certain that, despite well intentions, they wouldn't do or say anything to make a challenging situation better. I've literally told a handful of people-my closest friends, several of whom have gone through this. But after two cycles of nothing, I sense that even they are hesitating to ask me how things are going.

  7. Congratulations to A - this is awesome!!!

    I know how it goes with family not acknowledging your IF. It's the biggest things in our lives sometimes, isn't it? And to not be able to talk to our families, it's so hard.

    Hugs to you, my dear.