When I graduated from law school, A and I took a fabulous trip to Italy. I wanted to give him something special for his graduation, but due to the incredible amount of money we have spent this year on trying to get pregnant, Italy was not an option. Instead, we went to a beautiful inn in the mountains for the weekend. It was a perfect get-away...we had fires, games, wine, and delicious food. Despite the great time, though, I definitely felt guilty that I couldn't do more for A.
While the emotional side of this has been grueling, the financial side has been incredibly difficult as well. This year we have spent enough out-of-pocket on trying to get and stay pregnant to pay for a car. If we get pregnant through this process, I know I will believe that it was the best money we ever spent. I fear what will happen if we don't get pregnant, though. I know that we couldn't have walked away from trying for a biological child without trying IVF, but if our fresh and frozen cycle don't result in a baby it will be hard to swallow the dent this has made in our financial situation. I just hope our investment pays off!
oh, I do hope that it truly is an investment in your family, wishing you the best of luck!
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. I'm glad you enjoyed your trip away though : )
ReplyDeleteYou are right that had you not done it there would have always been that "what if". We have to keep soldiering on and working towards that final goal! I know that when A gets his baby, he wouldn't trade it for all the Italian trips in the world! Wishing you all the luck in the world x
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Something I've been meaning to do is make a scrapbook up of all our foreign jaunts, with bits and pieces and photos I've saved. Maybe you could do that over your cycle and enjoy Italy that way? Ok, it's not the same as being there, but at least you get reminded!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about all the money we've spent on this journey. I'll never wonder if I tried everything - at least then I'll know...
ReplyDeleteThe financial thing truly pisses me off though - one of the worst parts of infertility! Glad you had a nice getaway, though!
Yes, I agree. And sometimes I feel petty when I say it. It will be worth the money . . . if we get there. Either way though, it's tough when your building a house fund or vacation fund is wiped out in less than three months and there is still nothing to show for it.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you soon have a reason to be grateful for all of the obstacles you have overcome!
I hear you! I think most infertiles feel this way. With a vacation, you have good memories and amazing experiences...there is a payoff.
ReplyDeleteInfertility is not certain and it's a hard pill to swallow when you keep getting zero for your money and efforts.
Keep your chin up and know we all understand!
We are in the same boat...sometimes I imagine the shiny new car I could be driving but then I realize that having a baby is way more important so I will keep shelling out the dough. Congrats to your hubby! I bet the getaway in the mountains was wonderful.
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