My RE does an ultrasound each week during the first trimester. It's such a treat to see these babies grow each week, but I'm beginning to notice a not so great behavioral pattern. Because I don't work on Mondays, I always schedule my appointment for Monday. And, unfailingly, I have a bit of a breakdown on Sunday.
This weekend A and I went to visit a city to which we are considering moving. On both Friday and Saturday, I had little to no nausea, which always makes me a bit nervous. I managed to contain my breakdown until tdoay. I began the day with a mini-box of cheerios, then after church had my second breakfast of a yummy, buttery biscuit. As we were driving home, though, extreme hunger struck and I HAD to eat. We spotted a Cracker Barrell and quickly ordered. This is where the breakdown began. I started crying at the table waiting for food because I was so hungry I was in pain. I pulled it together and made it through lunch, but once we got back into the car the sobbing began. I let out all my fears that these babies are not going to be okay...that we are going to go to an ultrasound one week and it's all going to be over...that this cannot be real...that this cannot end well.
I know I can't worry like this every day, or even every week, but it's so hard to believe that I might end up with two healthy babies. Praying for a little more peace every day, and hoping for the same for each of you as well.