There is a moment when you realize that you and your best friend won't be pregnant together...your babies won't be four weeks apart. There is deep grief when you get that terrible phone call. There is also a slight sense of relief when you realize you aren't the one with bad news this time.
On Friday, one of my dearest friends was supposed to have her first ultrasound. She should have been 8 weeks pregnant, and being just over four weeks ahead of her, I knew that she should easily see a little blob baby and a heartbeat. She got pregnant within four months and has never had a loss, so I honestly wasn't worried for her...I was excited. She called around noon and managed to squeak out, "It didn't go well." My heart sank immediately. Apparently there was a perfect gestational sac, but that was it. No yolk sac, no fetal pole.
I'm a little disheartened by the advice she received from her doctor. They told her maybe she had counted wrong, she was still early, and that they would check her blood on Saturday and Monday. Three weeks ago, though, she had a beta of just over 1,000. I hope they aren't giving her false hope. I pray that I am wrong, that I'm being overly cynical because of my own experiences, but it doesn't look good.
My heart is just breaking for her. I always thought it would be nice to be "normal," to call and tell the doctor you're pregnant and be told to come in at 8 weeks for your first ultrasound. Maybe normal isn't always good, though. For my friend, she has lived the last 3 weeks in ignorant bliss, thinking her baby was growing away inside. Maybe it would have been easier if she could have found out sooner. Not that anything could make a situation like this easy.....
I'm so sorry for your friend. My third loss was a blighted ovum and it was devastating to see the empty sac when the ultrasound began. I just had the gestational sac too. Lots of pregnancy symptoms, a placenta and gestational sac, but no baby.
ReplyDeleteI hope the doctor isn't giving her false hope either, but I'm glad they are being diligent. I had to have another ultrasound 1 week and a half after my first bad one, just to confirm and living in limbo was hell.
I'm sorry for your friend. My doctors did that too (asking me about my dates being off, etc. etc) and I knew that my dates were right. It just makes it harder.
ReplyDeleteThinking of both of you.
thinking of you and your friend. You are right, there is nothing easy about this.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your friend. How heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking of both of you.
This is so heartbreaking, and such a disappointment when you two had looked forward to being pregnant together. Sending thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteit's never easy, especially someone that it's their first pregnancy. We had a cousin that got pregnant about 6 weeks after her wedding, and then miscarried, it's always heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteThinking of your friend, and thinking of you. This is never easy.
ReplyDeleteI'm so so sorry. A misscarriage is hard for ANYONE. And it's hard on those who are close to the person too.
ReplyDeleteHopefully a miracle happens, but if not, at least she knows she can depend on you to 'get it'.
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I hope your friend is ok. At least she can talk to you about it and you'll understand, although it's such a difficult situation.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your friend. And sorry for you that you won't be having bubs a month apart. It would have been such a lovely, normal thing to have happen! And not to be unfeeling towards your firend, but I can imagine it all from your point of view - it will feel hard to tell her your good news as thing progress. I hope it's not too hard.
ReplyDeleteOh that must be so hard. And I agree with you about the doctor - I really hope they didn't give her false hope. I hope that she works through this and has success again soon with no complications.
ReplyDeleteso sorry for your friend. heartbreaking.
ReplyDeletethinking of both of you.
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