Wednesday, November 14, 2012

and we're off

I started wearing my estrogen patches yesterday, marking the real start of this frozen cycle.  People always talk about pregnancy you forget all the bad stuff so that you want to do it again.  I think there is also infertility amnesia.  I had forgotten how sensitive I was to all of this stuff, and just how quickly I would feel the effects.  This morning I was already seeing stars in the shower, and I have been ravenous all day.  It's all worth it when it works, though.  That's what I tell myself.  That's what I remember each time I look at my son and daughter.

I'm feeling super anxious.  With our fresh IVF, I just always believed it would work.  I just did.  This time, I'm not feeling so positive.  This is our only embryo, and my mind keeps telling me that we can't possibly be lucky enough to have 3 embryos equal 3 babies.  I'm trying to kick those negative feelings to the curb.  While guarding your heart can be useful, negative feelings definitely don't help the process.  So I'm trying to let myself daydream about the possibility of this third child.